this one

Drama drama drama!

I must have the worst dating experiences in the history of dating. I tell you, I am one doomed MF when it comes to finding a good, loyal, drama-free woman! The last three months have been hideous beyond knowing, filled with heartache, disappointment and ultra-low actions by women I trusted. I made some veeery poor choices. But I am glad everything happened the way it did. Sometimes it takes some pain to see the all-too-brutal truth.

You might be wondering about what I wrote in my column last month, about the new she-panther I was "dating?" well, truth be known, I probably took out my past "ex" issues on the poor girl. That is regrettable. She was a very nice girl, and I liked her, but I don't reckon she was for me. She was a bit too wild. But it is what it is. I wish her the best. To me, Honesty is always best, no matter how much it hurts. Sadly, not many people believe this.

Dating these days is pure hell.

But what can one expect in this day, and age? Facebook is the destroyer of relationships with every dude under the sun trying to poke your woman regardless of her "Taken" status. But I'll not let the recent stressful, drama-laden past hinder my future again. I am wide awake now. It's like what the Japanese said after attacking Pearl Harbor: "I fear all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve." Yup.

I am that sleeping giant who just got woke up. And I'm one pissed off cranky MF because of it! Never EVER test MY resolve! For I am no quitter. If I quit every time some lowdown POS with zero morals tried to bring me down or destroy me, I would have disappeared into the masses loooong ago. But here I am, still kicking all these years later. I have outlasted every MF who has thrown shit my way over the years!! It's a fact.

So as always, I'm gonna be positive and forget about the recent shitstorm like it never freaking happened, and move on as best I can with one goal in mind. Happiness and music! Yeah, I'm an ugly chud of a dude, but I have always managed to find girlfriends rather easily for some strange unknown reason. Maybe it's my sparkling personality (laughs) or my razor sharp oddball wit, or my substantial ability to make a girl make sounds like a mating Wildebeast.

Whatever it is, it has not failed me so far. Even for an old dude like me! I am counting on those same old reliable traits to find me one awesome girlfriend. No bar-hoppers, or cheaters or liars for me! One to go to shows with me, to help me with my column, to travel with, to grow and prosper with. I like having someone to share things with, someone to come home to, someone to call during my lunch at work, someone who can actually be a good person and be honest and faithful. I know that sounds crazy, but you would be surprised how hard it is to find a worthy candidate these days. The drama and nonsense associated with dating is at an all-time high. I am not into party girls at all anymore, and just want someone with their shit together like I have! But apparently that is asking a lot!

So, God, if you are listening? Have mercy on a mofo. Send me an angel. It's true I have been an asshole to some women in the distant past, but people can change and I am living proof. Karma has been served in abundance and now the slate is wiped clean. Church-going motherf**kers sin more than I do these days! I work, play music, do my column thing, and sit at home with my dog. I'm lame!

And I'm cool with that!

I just want someone to be lame with. But I'm in no hurry, I shall date, and have ridiculous funny experiences that I'm sure you will hear all about in due time, and I shall see what's out there, and hopefully God will forgive my horndog past and hook me up for good!

I'm on a quest for the Holy Grail.

On top of this drama nonsense, I've had a bout with the flu that I had for a week or so. I was expelling fluids violently from both ends Simultaneously. It was not good. I almost pooped on myself at work! I made it in the nick of time!

Seems like half the damn city has been sick with the flu or stomach virus the last month or so. Everyone at my work seems to have gotten it during the last month. I have rarely seen it worse. Thank god I'm over it! Be sure to use those Clorox Disinfectant Wipes!

More positive things! I am looking forward to playing some brutal metal once again very soon, my friends and loyal readers. I am very excited that my band Krosjoint is coming back soon after a three-year breakup. We finally have enough material for a show! Now it's a matter of getting everything super-tight and like clockwork. Some people/former bandmates have said I worry too much, and push too much musically, but the truth is — I always want my bands to sound tight AF. Sloppy is unacceptable. And the gear we have is sonic to the max! I am stoked! It is almost time to book our first show back.

I've played some good music in this city over the decades, and I don't intend to stop now. So please keep Krosjoint in mind for some shows with you metalheads. In the meantime, go to our page on FB and "like" our band page!

Shows shows shows! There are many I will attend this year. That, my friends, is how I beat the blues! Lots of friends, meeting new people, and having a blast seeing good music! Shows I want to see are: In This Moment, Overkill, Ozzy, Iron Maiden, Rob Zombie, Metallica, Louder Than life, and more.

You know the shows will be coming outta the woodwork very soon for spring/summer. And I will be there camera in hand!

Now I just need to find a special someone to share all this with.

Wish me luck, I'll fargin' need it!!!

Aye aye ayeeeee!

P.S Be sure to check out my Blast From The Past Video below in LMN LIVE of my old band Inhuman from 1996, when I was a vocalist. We do a pretty sick cover of Sepultura's "Territory."

Ahhhh, the good ole days....

The Metal Grapevine

JUST IN: Rob Zombie at Louisville Palace on May 6:

I've seen Mr Zombie numerous times, even when he was with White Zombie, and he always puts on a decent show! This one promises to be epic because of the sweet ass location! My favorite place to see a show in Louisville. And you can't beat seeing guitarist John 5 tear shit up on his lighted custom guitars! So yeah, this one is gonna be a must-see for sure! So get those tickets, because this will probably sell out. You know my concert-going ass will be there with camera in hand! Reviewing shows is a great love affair of mine and I'll stop when I'm dead. There will no doubt be a bunch of sexy goth chicks at this one, too. Yummy.

JUST IN: In This Moment at The Palace on May 7:

Awwww hell, you know I'll be going to this! I reviewed and photographed them the last time they were at The Palace and it was freaking awesome! I got some amazing pictures of Maria Brink, and the band was badass. Do yourself a favor, and get these tickets asap! Do NOT miss this. They put on one great show complete with props, crazy outfits, and Maria belting out some tremendous vocals, and also looking sexy AF. That chick moves me from 6 to midnight in like 2 seconds. Get those tickets!!

JUST IN: Thrash legends Overkill coming to The Mercury on April 29:

Monday, April 29, it's on! Thrash legends Overkill are debuting at The Mercury Ballroom w/ Death angel and Act Of Defiance, and I'm gonna hafta make this one! I've opened for these guys twice before (I'll never forget that shit!) and I am a huge fan of their music, so I know all about them. They kill! This is a no-frills thrash event from hell, so if you like it brutal and uncompromising, this is your ticket! Bobby Blitz and DD Verni are monsters!

Iron Maidens Tribute Review + the Phantom Farter w/ Video by Jason Schwartz:

Wow, what a great night. I talked my Krosjoiint bandmembers into going to see the Iron Maidens at the Mercury Ballroom and it was a blast! We had a helluva time. Except for the fat guy, and the return of the phantom farter. I had been wanting to see this famous all-female Iron Maiden tribute band from Los Angeles for some time now and I finally got my chance. I wasn't missing that shit!

I loved the show! The music. The energy. The vocals. The effort put into those difficult difficult vocals. The duel lead guitarists. The galloping basslines. The thunderous drums. They launched into "Aces High" "Die With Your Boots On" "2 Minutes To Midnight" "Wasted Years" "22 Acacia Avenue" "The Trooper" "Rime Of The Ancient Mariner" "The Number Of The Beast" "Hallowed Be Thy Name" and some older Iron Maiden tunes with the former singer, which I never got into. Bruce Dickinson IS Iron Maiden.

How did the female singer do reproducing these difficult songs? Vocalist Kirsten Rosenberg did great. Great personality and she puts forth real effort in her performance. Make no mistakes, to reproduce these vocals in any way similar to the originals, takes one very talented individual. Kirsten has power and range like a MF. She was cool, too, and an expert at working a crowd. What blew me away was that she said Louisville was her hometown. What!? I like to think I get around musically, but I've never ever heard of her being from here or anything! Crazy. I will say I thought her voice was way too dry for my liking. A little reverb or a slight delay from time to time was needed. They were a bit too far between. But maybe Kirsten likes the vocals a little dry.

Guitarists Courtney Cox and Nikki Stringfield were hot AF as they shredded through the set like beasts attacking prey. It was awe inspiring watching these two fine ladies manhandle those guitars. Talk about arousing! Dudes were like "duuuuhhhhhh." It was funny. Even my own bass player was looking on lovingly saying "I'd like to lick that bass players butthole." And yes, Iron Maidens bassist Wanda Ortiz was cute and was a galloping fool on that bass!

The chick that I thought was sexiest was Nikki Stringfield. Now she was cute! Courtney Cox was the much better guitarist though, that was clear. I woulda loved to have seen Nita Struass on lead, but apparently she still tours with Alice Cooper. It was still a great show complete with nine-foot tall Maiden mascot Eddie running around onstage.

The drummer Linda Mcdonald was rockin' as well. No complaints. Welllll, maybe one or two. OMG. Some guy I don't know standing next to me looked at me, and he looked rather befuddled, then he leans over and whispers to me "this fat guy keeps leaning on me for some reason." And sure enough, there is some huge fat guy all over this dudes back with his chin almost on his shoulder, and his massive belly all pressed up aginst dudes back all lovingly. I was like, WTF? Finally dude escaped and then the fat guy moved over to my group, and proceeded to molest a friend of mine. This guy is laidback, but he finally says "dude back up', please! Then he whispered to me "I think I felt his boner pressing against me!" Then the rotund concertgoer turns to me, and starts to manuever towards me to lounge upon my back! All laying up on my neck and shit! I was about to say something when the fart came. I don't know what it is, but it seems every other time I go to the Mercury Ballroom some MF with some seriously sick innards cuts one that could melt the wallpaper off the walls. No ordinary fart mind you! I'm talking foul! Gag a MFfoul. I ran off instantly before I yakked, escaping el tubbo AND the gastly flatulence in one swift motion. My band was horrified by the fart. I'm starting to think there is a ghostly phantom farter at The Merc. If there is: I'm a friend and media person to the venue, so please cut me some slack! Fart on another concertgoer who rightfully deserves a fart of such caliber.

The opening band Downtrend, from eastern Kentucky, played a nice Southern metal set of some decent original rock mixed in with a cover of Sabbath's "The Wizard." Nice choice!

My buddy Jason Schwartz took this video of The Iron Maidens. Good job, bro!

Star Wars, Complete with The Louisville Orchestra:

Yup, pretty freaking cool. See the epic flick, and also hear Louisville's top musicians do their thang. Sounds sweet to me! I'm a total Star wars nerd! I might try to attend this if I can weasel around some other plans I already made. It's Saturday, February 2 at 7:30 P.M. or Sunday, February 3 at 3:00 P.M. at 620 W. Main St. Suite 600.

LRS is Back:

WLRS The Walrus is back! I couldn't be happier that we will have a radio station again that supports local original music! I've had some great shows with these guys as a local musician. Jim Coyle at LRS has some info for you on the new deal!

LRS 102.com is a digital rock station that will be broadcasting live from the Launch Louisville Studio at 816 East Broadway beginning on Feb 20. The new LRS 102.com, the Walrus, will play rock music from the late 60's until now. Everything from Classic rock to New Rock, from Grunge to Metal and all the punk and alternative rock in between. LRS is owned and operated by former LRS jock Skinny J and staffed with many seasoned radio vets like Huge Rod, The Derby City Diva, Nubbins, Hippy Head and Emo Emily. Together they will keep the station live and local and interactive with the community. LRS will do concert ticket give a ways and meet and greets and all the cool contesting for the listeners.

The new station also plans on being active around town for Kentucky Derby Festival events, charity events, fundraisers and of course will host the original rock showcase that is LRS Fest the first weekend of October annually. The station will stream 24/7 with an iPhone app, Android App, Alexa command, Chrome command as well as streaming with Tuned In and through the station website. You can start following the Walrus on social media now. You can find LRS102.com on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snap Chat, Linked In and YouTube. Log on and follow the countdown to the launch on Feb 20th and prepare to rock once again! LRS 102 the Walrus is Louisville's Rock Stream!

Sick Little Things: The Alice Cooper Tribute Review:

I just opened for these guys for the second time, and I love them! And I didn't rip out the crotch in my pants this time! No balls hanging out, or me having to back out of the venue hunched over like Quasimodo so no one would see my bare sack. They got some good stuff going on, for real! The singer Corey Elmore looks and sounds just like a young Alice Cooper! It's uncanny. And he is also really good with props, costumes and stuff, so you might wanna see these guys when you next get a chance. Great bassist Mark Powers, and some pretty darn good dueling guitar playing as well. I was a bit disappointed in the turnout for the benefit for the homeless we had, but it was cold as hell, and getting people to come out to shows anymore is like pulling teeth. It's the worst I've ever seen it these days. These are some seriously cool mofos, so be sure to support them in their endeavors! I got some cool pics of these rockers, check em' out!

KISS coming Tuesday, March 12 at the Yum Center:

I saw them last time they were here, and I was shocked. They rocked! Don't miss this possible last chance to see these legends.

Soulfly coming to Manchester Music Hall February 17:

Yes! I only wish this wasn't so far and on a Sunday! SHIT!

Dark Side Of The Wall w/ Orchestra Enigmatic at the Brown Theatre on February 2:

Fans of Pink Floyd should not miss this. These guys are great! And I'm not even a fan of Floyd!

Kanasas to play Louisville Palace on March 23:

I have never seen this band, and would like to! I'm gonna try to catch this one!

Graveyard Romeos Wins Lexington Music Award, Again:

Congrats to my brothers in Graveyard Romeos for winning Lexingtons Best cover band Award for the third time. These guys are down to earth super cool bastards who deserve this! Very good musicians! See/hear for yourself.

Adam Sandler coming to Louisville Palace on Wednesday, February 6:

Now this should be funny! A musical comedy act for sure! Another show I will have to try to make!

Metallica in March!

Saturday, March 9 at the KFC Yum! Center. This should be one interesting show. The last time they played there, I was there, and it was kinda boring for real. But since then, they have had a hot charge blown up their asses and seemed to have returned to heavier roots a little. I saw Metallica in 1986 open for Ozzy outdoors in Cardinal Stadium on the Master Of Puppets Tour! Metallica was getting booed bigtime by the Ozzy fans. People weren't ready for that kind of shredding just yet. Little did they know, how big that band would become! I actually got to see Cliff Burton play! A few months after that show and he was gone forever. Sad. Hopefully the venue will hook me up this time. Last time I had to go alone, which sucks ass. I'd rather stay home than go review a show alone. What fun is there in that? Anyways, wish me luck!

In Flames Coming to The Merc February 20:

Loud brutal music. Sounds like fun!

Iron Maiden to play Riverbend on August 15, 2019:

This sounds too good to be true. I'll definitely go to this one. It's on! I always loved seeing shows there too. Never a bad time! Get those tickets, this will sell out!

Ozzy is Sick: and hopefully still coming to Riverbend on June 6:

This promises to be a rockin' good time! Hope to see you there. Hopefully Ozzy will have gotten over this bad sickness that he has had, which worried even doctors! Get will Ozzy!

Pop Evil coming on February 10:

Guys, if you wanna meet some fine ladies, go to this show! These guys pack them in! Great band. Great show! I'm gonna try to cover this:)

Jefferson Tarc Bus Reunion Show at The Merc on February 16:

Those famous partiers are back for one night only, so if you are a fan, don't miss it.

Flotsam and Jetsam coming to The Tiger Room on May 31:

More thrash for you hardcore bastages. Locals Dead By Wednesday, Stagecoach Inferno and SWP will be opening so be there early!

Guerilla Red's New Video:

Check out these guys' brand new video filmed just days ago! I was gonna go to this, but I had a gig! Just my luck! Some good Louisville original music here.

Creature Of Exile Lyric Video:

Now you can see and hear the brutal shit that is Central Kentucky's COE.

Van Halen/Bon Jovi Tribute Night at The Merc on March 15:

Bon Jovi is lame, but I like Van Halen! Ha.

Experience Jimi Hendrix's music at Louisville Palace on March 19:

No it's not Hendrix, but it should be good anyways! The Palace don't mess around with chumps!

This Month's Musician Of The Month is Christine Devereaux:

Christine was sick with the flu last month, so she wasn't able to do the feature. She is all better now, so be sure to read her feature in February Louisville Music News!

Stolen Guitar Alert!!!

Be on the lookout for a maroon Schecter C1 FR that was stolen from Brewskee's on Saturday, December 30. It belongs to my good friend Phil Morris and we intend to find the bastard who did it and make him pay like a MF! Little did the thief know that he stole from a guy much loved in this scene! Bad mistake! The Louisville music scene doesn't play with thieves, and we are uniting to find this guitar. Phil is a helluva dude, and we will not allow this to go unpunished! It's WAR!! Brewskee's should be doing everything in their power to fix this, though. If they don't, there will be hell to pay. Contact 502-609-1696 if you have any info for us. There are two pictures of it in the slideshow. It's the guy with the long brown hair with the maroon guitar! Please Help Us.

Prostate Cancer Awareness Benefit at Louisville Billiards:

This shit is no joke. Please support this cause. It's February 23 at Louisville Billiards. Bands playing are Sean T. Johnson and The Juke Joint Revival.

Louisville Music News Live

Yeah, I've made this up to feature you mofo's in all your glory! So let's see some videos from you musicians, old or new! If it's good, it might be featured! Send to Eddymetal1@aol.com. But it must be on youtube!

LMN Live — Doppelganger:

What a great bunch of young musicians! Outstanding!

LMN Live Blast From The Past — Inhuman in 1996:

Yes, I was a singer once back in prehistoric days. Ha! This is us doing Sepultura.

LMN Live Blast From The Past — The Acoustipimps:

LMN Live-XS:

LMN Live — Twist Of Cain:

LMN Live Blast From The Past — Bride:

LMN Live — Edgar Red:

Killer tone!!

LMN Live — Kill The Crown:

Super nice guys. Great band!

LMN Live — Meanstreak:

Good stuff!

LMN Live — Wyld Ryde:

Upcoming Shows

Al's Bar (Lexington)

Saturday, March 2 — Creature Of Exile, Left To The Wolves, Succumb To Demise and When Autumn Calls.

Friday, March 8 — TOhlm, Artwork For The Blind and Kur.

The Art Sanctuary

Saturday, March 2 — Radio Arcane w/ Dark Market.

The Corner Pizza Pub

Saturday, February 16 — Some Kind Of Saint.

Diamond Pub Concert Hall

Sunday, February 10 — Between the Buried And Me w/ Tesseract and Astronoid.

Saturday, March 2 — Memphis May fire w/ He Is Legend, Taken Lves and Wake Up In Tsunami.

Monday, March 11 — Between The Buried and Me w/ Tesseract and Astronoid.

Monday, March 18 As I Lay Dying.

Green Lantern Bar (Lexington)

Saturday, February 9 — Created To Kill

Highlands Tap Room

Monday, February 4 — Cryptic Hymn.

Saturday, February 9 — Granshaw, Existing In Exile and Sounds Like A Lawsuit.

Monday, March 11 — Goddess.

IDC BAR (Nicholasville )

February 8 and 9 — Graveyard Romeos.

Lady Jayne's

Saturday, March 2 — Tame.

Louisville Billiards

Saturday, January 12 — Mad Alice.

Friday, February 22 — Wyld Ryde.

Saturday, February 23 — Prostate Awareness Benefit for Gavin Caster w/ Sean T. Johnson and Juke Joint Revival.

Sunday, February 24 Big Rock show and Wyld Ryde.

Magbar

Sunday, February 17 — Toke w/ Batwizard, Blind Scryer and Dirtbag.

Saturday, February 9 — Stonecutters w/ Kur, Well Of Night, Volcandra, Majutsu.

Manchester Music Hall

Sunday, February 17 — Soulfly.

Mercury Ballroom

Sunday, February 10 — Pop Evil.

Saturday, February 16 — Jefferson Tarcbus Reunion.

Wednesday, February 20 In Flames.

Saturday, March 9 — John Mellencamp.

Friday, April 5 — TDressed To Kill — A Tribute To KISS, with special guest Mad Alice.

Saturday, April 6 — Ten — The Pearl Jam Tribute.

Monday, April 29 — Overkill.

Nirvana

Saturday, April 27 — Soil w/ Below 7 and Beneath Black Sails.

Open Community Arts Center

Saturday, March 2 — Chrome Waves w/ Without waves, Godking, Comess and Bowels.

Paddock Pub

Saturday, February 23 — Louie's Fantasy Ball w/ Wyld Ryde, Untold Rellik and TBA.

Friday, March 9 — Gravel and Spiders, Sempervivi, Reckless Threat and CCB.

Spectators

Saturday, February 9 — Bad Directions Band.

Saturday, February 16 — Mad Alice.

Saturday, April 20 — Mad Alice.

Spillway Bar and Grill (Bowling Green)

Saturday, February 9 — Otis w/ Trevor Smith and Claton Crowder and Luther.

Tidball's (Bowling Green)

Friday, February 1 — The Native Howl w/ Luther.

Trixie's Tiger Room

Tuesday, February 12 — Tony Macalpine w/ Jacky Vincent and LoNero.

Wednesday, February 27 — Entheos w/ Wolf King, Bowels, Volcandra and The Human Tragedy.

Sunday, March 10 — TThe Three Tremors, Strigoi, Stormtoker and Mass Asylum.

Saturday, March 16 — The world I Knew w/ Until the Dead Walk, Torn Confidence, Perceptians, Kienemy and A Rumor Of War.

Tuesday, April 9 — Artica w/ Makari and Summer Youth.

Friday, May 31 — Flotsam And Jetsam w/ Dead By Wednesday, Stagecoach Inferno and SWP.

Two Lane

Saturday, February 9 — Mad Alice.

Wicks Baxter

Saturday, February 23 — Doppelganger.

Zanzabar

Friday, February 22 — Daughters w/ Jaye Jayle and Hide.